


The Five Stages of Letting Go

by baranduin



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-18
Updated: 2010-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-06 11:01:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baranduin/pseuds/baranduin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Last night together. They both got what they wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Five Stages of Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for the wonderful and missed Thamiris's "Blow it with feeling" challenge where the fic had to be about the assigned emotion and had to include a blow job.  
> Emotion: Hurt

**~ Denial ~**

The expression on David's face is solemn and unsmiling when Elijah opens the door. His skin is cool from the night air as he presses his cheek against Elijah's and grins at the involuntary shiver that greets him. His lips roam from Elijah's mouth to the sharp line of his jaw to the soft curve of his throat, and Elijah's skin warms him through his mouth down his spine with a spreading liquid heat.

David murmurs against Elijah's ear, "Just a good time tonight. Right? We don't need to ..." He pulls back, rocking on his heels, and takes Elijah by the shoulders, his palms curving around the balls of Elijah's narrow shoulders. It is a good fit.

Elijah produces the wide smile he has practiced in the mirror for the last hour and nods his head. "Yeah. Of course."

"Right," David says. "Good memories." He reaches out and traces Elijah's mouth with his thumb. Elijah is careful to keep his lips curved into the proper direction.

Upward.

 

**~ Anger ~**

Since there is apparently to be no discussion tonight—no fond recollections of the nights they've spent together, no fake promises of happy reunions—they go to bed almost immediately.

When Elijah takes David's cock into his mouth, he nearly chokes at first. Though perhaps it is better to say that when David shoves his cock deep into Elijah's throat, it almost makes Elijah gag.

Elijah's not sure which it is, and he doesn't really care. Not with his mouth full of this hard flesh he's grown to need in all parts of his body. David thrusts once, and Elijah feels it thick and hard in his ass.

He groans, and when David's cock twitches, he smiles (or would if he could) for he knows that David felt the vibration of his mouth and throat.

_Concentrate._

The white sheet is smooth against his knees, and David's hands are like vices around his shoulder blades as they clench rhythmically in time to each slide of shaft and suck of mouth. He knows the imprint of David's fingers will remain after tonight, a last marking fading in a day or a week. If he swirls his tongue around the fat slippery head of David's cock, he might well take away the additional branding of David's fingernails. He does it and groans again as David's nails bite deep and taste bone.

_Remember._

"It's been good, hasn't it?" David had asked an hour ago.

"Yes," Elijah had said, and he remembers now, in the middle of a long lick along the underside of David's cock, how easily David had said it. Like they'd gone out for beers a couple of times.

Elijah wants to bite. Leave a little mark of his own on David. He settles for pulling one of David's balls into his mouth and sucking, carefully, oh so delicately since he surely would not want to damage David's skin, wouldn't really want to leave a tooth mark. Not really. David's moan rises to a shriek. He likes that, oh, yes; David does like it that way.

Elijah still wants to bite.

**~ Bargaining ~**

David's close. He's making that little mewling cry at the back of his throat that Elijah has come to learn is the high sign to either slow down or get ready for the warm gush of come in his mouth.

_Too soon. Just a little longer._

Elijah moves his head aside and rubs his cheek against David's cock. It jerks ... once ... twice ... all wanting, blind wanting. "You'll come to the premieres," Elijah says.

"I dunno. Hope so. Maybe," David answers, grunting out his words and taking Elijah by the ruff of his neck, pushing his head back to where he needs it.

_Maybe._

Not really fair to ask such a thing when a man is just about to ...

**~ Depression ~**

It hurts to come tonight. It always does, a little bit, and Elijah usually keeps his eyes squeezed shut the closer he gets so he can concentrate on that delicious little frisson of pain as he balances on the edge. He likes it that way. But tonight it's different and he doesn't want to miss anything, so he keeps his eyes open and watches David suck and lick, and he tries to memorize it all, but his vision goes a little blurry and finally he closes his eyes and comes. So hard that he screams from it, and it hurts his throat for the sound that issues from his mouth is ragged and rough and he knows it's tearing the tender tissues inside him.

Afterwards, he lies on the bed with his arms and legs splayed apart, David's head resting on his thigh so lightly, just rubbing his face against Elijah's bare thigh and tickling it with his beard.

_It doesn't fucking matter._

It really wasn't anything, this thing they'd had while filming. Just some fucking and sucking and sliding their cocks together in a cadence that left them both gasping for breath. For more.

But it really wasn't anything, and Elijah reminds himself that he'd gone into it clear-eyed and eager for experience. To know. To learn what his body wanted and to feel it all from the balls of his feet to the roots of his hair. Oh, yes, and especially to feel it in the balls between his thighs and the roots of his hair curling around his cock. He has not been used. He wanted all he got; at least he tells himself that.

And now it's going to be over. Tonight.

Elijah suspects he might sleep for a week once David gets on that plane tomorrow to go back to his real life in Sydney. Or he would sleep for a week if he could get away with it.

**~ Acceptance ~**

_It's not like it was ever anything that would last. It's not like you even wanted that. Did you?_

Elijah is sleepy, and he knows he will not stay awake much longer, no matter how much he wants to grieve this thing and prolong the night. Not with his eyelids growing heavier every second. He burrows against David's chest, his bottom pressing against his lover's taut belly and softened cock and balls. Elijah's warm. He knows he will survive. He's not that far gone, and it was never really about anything more than a good time.

_I just wish ..._

_Ssh. Never mind. It's done._

**~ Denial ~**

David can't sleep. He pulls Elijah closer against his chest, rubbing his cheek against the top of Elijah's head, smiling a little when Elijah's hair tickles his nose. It always does that. Sometimes it even makes him sneeze, and then they have a good laugh, though if Elijah is asleep, it wakes him up and sometimes he's grumpy about that. David will miss it, even the grumpiness.

_Don't be an arsehole. You'll see him during pick-ups and at the premieres ... who knows when else? Lots of chances. It's not like it's all over even though it should be._

Elijah squirms away from him in his sleep, straining a bit against David's encircling arms.

_Oh ..._


End file.
